We never know the impact hurt has on someone because we have gotten used to seeing them masking it on the outside and keeping it moving. In the midst of this taking place we generally hear someone else comforting the hurting by saying, “you will be fine.” We hear this when someone has a death in the family. We hear this when someone is ill. We hear this at the end of a relationship. We may also her this when someone has an accident. The question I have often pondered in my mind is, how do they know everything will be fine when we can’t see the hurt below the surface?
This past weekend, while stopped at a traffic light I was rear ended by a young lady with a minivan full of kids. The impact jolted both my daughter and I forward and back into our seats. After exiting our vehicles, the young lady apologized and admitted she was distracted and in the same breath told me I would be fine. Since she couldn’t visibly see any damage (although we both could see that my bumper slightly shifted) she figured we were good. She was very nonchalant about the accident and ready to drive off keeping things moving.
I have seen this same type of nonchalant behavior so many times in the workplace, in my relationships, at my daughter’s school, and in our communities. There seems to be little or no regard for how we treat each other, how we speak to each other, or about the actions we have taken that negatively impacted someone else. It’s not a big deal to the person who caused the hurt so they figure it should not be a big deal to the person they hurt. Food for thought, just because the hurt lies beneath the surface doesn’t mean that it isn’t valid.
We have to really get to the point where we can voice our hurt. We have to get a point that when we are the one doing the hurting we at least try to empathize with the person we hurt. We have to get to the point that we are not so quick to disregard the feelings of someone who is hurting and move on. We have to get to a point that we comfort those in trouble the same way God has comforted us (2 Corinthians 1:4). We should able to offer the same type of comfort when we are comforting others and doing more than saying “you will be fine.” I am so grateful that God is always there to comfort me to let me know that I can endure even through the hurt that is below the surface.