I have made many relationship mistakes in my lifetime many of which I had to pay for with my heart. Painful as those mistakes may have been they offered two valuable lessons. First, there is no such thing as a perfect person. Second, both parties in the relationship have to put forth the effort to make the relationship work. Relationships require being emotionally available, having realistic expectations, listening, actually talking, being honest, and admitting when you are wrong.
As a single mom, I use to find it challenging to date. Potential suitors found me too busy to make time for them because my daughter was my top priority and my working schedule was hectic. Being in a relationship, she still is my top priority and my schedule is still hectic so what’s changed? If you have been reading my blog posts you know that I am a big advocate of having balance which is an ongoing process to master. Yet, at the end of day we make time for the things that we want to do. If my heart’s desire is to be in a healthy relationship that could lead to marriage, I have to be willing to put in the work. It is also equally important that my significant other be willing to put in the work as well. That work in turn keeps the flame of love burning in our relationship.
My moms who are married can attest to the challenges of keeping the flame of love burning in their relationships. From scheduled date nights or free weekends, that special time gives them an opportunity to make each other the focus of attention and not the kids. Who knew that men needed to feel important and want to be a #1 priority too!
Whether you are a mom who is single or married, scheduling time enables us to let our children and significant others know that they are important to us. This also allows us to give our children teachable moments of healthy relationships where there are real conversations (texting is a non-verbal substitute!), admission when there is wrong, and trust that encourages sharing what is happening in each other’s lives. Learning what loves is and how to love starts with healthy relationship at home. Our children won’t know what it takes to keep the flame of love burning if they don’t have first hand examples at home.